>>FANTASY ANIMAL WEEK<< 
I wasn't going to include Bigfoot as a fantasy animal, because I know he is neither fantasy nor an animal, but when I got in touch with his office they refused to let me through to talk to him, and when I asked for a photo all they did was send me this blurry piece of shit that I don't even think is actually him. I called back and let them really have a piece of my mind, and then I told them I was running the "Bigfoot is a phony" story. So they sent me this photo to prove he was just a regular guy! Um, ARE YOU CALLING ME SPECIESIST, BIGFOOT, THAT'S HARRY FROM HARRY AND THE HENDERSONS. I know the fucking difference between one giant ape-like creature and another, you condescending jerk-off.
So fuck you, Bigfoot, for all I care you are a fantastical piece of shit that doesn't give a fuck about the little people. I wouldn't film you out of focus from far away if you were the last folk legend on earth.
