One Acceptable Reason for the Obama Bow

Someone needs to contact Gibbs about the whole bow to the Japanese Emperor row. Because in the Hot Air comments, someone has come up with an excellent excuse that any guy can sympathize with. If Obama was sporting a major boner, then it would be acceptable to hunch over at that ridiculous an angle.

The New Funny Liberal Word: Tenther

I was a Tenther before it was cool!

Since Teabagger, Nazi, and right-wing terrorist are pejoratives that have been so overused to defend the hapless Obama administration that they have lost all meaning, Washington Times notes that the new keyword to show your hate for the red states is "Tenther". This is a reference to those radical right-wing populists that believe in the 10th amendment, I guess. From Washington Times:

Liberal activists have a new name to disparage conservatives: "tenthers."

The nickname refers to those who cite the 10th Amendment to argue that federal intervention in areas not authorized by the Constitution, like health care for example, is unconstitutional.

This follows other names such as "birthers," "deathers" and "tea baggers."

Health care reform supporters at the Center for American Progress, the American Prospect, MSNBC and other outlets have deployed the term against Republicans who cite the 10th Amendment as reason not to create new programs. Some of the leading Republican proponents of the allegedly "dangerous" and "conspiratorial" theory include Sens. Tom Coburn of Oklahoma and Jim DeMint of South Carolina, and Rep. Michele Bachmann of Minnesota.

Apparently, the term stems from this American Prospect last month and Digby, Yglesias, and Crooks and Liars have both incorporated it into their musings. If taking a strict interpretation of the constitution makes you a square, I'd sure like to know where these progressives think the power of the federal government to intervene stops.

Hulkamania Coming to a Town Hall Near You

David Weigel pokes fun, but I say that whenever a celebrity wants to get behind any type of conservative cause, they should be embraced. How many conservative celebrities are there? Ted Nugent, the other not-so-famous Baldwin brother, uh...that dude from Robot Jox, not many! From Guaranteed Lower Property Tax:

Dear Friend,
Have you noticed that in this down economy no-one is giving you a break? Trust me, I know what its like to be kicked when you are down but right now it is time for us to KICK BACK. If you are like me, you are SICK AND TIRED of the tax man taking way too much of your money! As a resident of Florida, I see the that real estate around me has gone down by like 50%, but has the tax bill? NO! Well, now it can. Now you can fight back. My whole life I have been fighting and this time I am fighting...FOR YOU! Me and my friends at Guaranteed Lower Property Tax are putting THE SMACKDOWN on disgustingly greedy Florida tax collectors. It is time someone stood up to them, and I am happy to be in your corner!

Simply enter your information below or call 888.331.1599, and we will share with you exactly how we guarantee that we can lower your property taxes! If we are unable to get you $995 in tax savings, we will give you a full refund.

Your partner in the fight against the greedy tax man,
Hulk Hogan

The Hulkster may have a slew of personal problems, but as long as he's not a 9-11 Truther douchebag like Jesse Ventura, I'm onboard.

The Evil Roundabout Empire

So some poindexter who writes books about the exciting world of traffic engineering uses a bunch of facts and figures to discuss why we should surrender our sovereignty and allow the roundabout to be a mainstay on our roads. Despite the fact that trying to walk across one of these monstrosities is a death sentence, he's obviously never seen a little movie called National Lampoon's European Vacation.



This and another annoyances that make you want to shoot yourself in the face will be coming soon to a backed up traffic circle near you.

Alcohol Probably Played No Part in This Incident

One doesn't normally think of Cape Cod as a place for drunken buffoonery and shenanigans unless you're part of the Kennedy family. But, one unfortunate chap thought it would be a good idea to punch a police horse in the tookis. From the Cape Cod Times:

Police were busy last night with fourteen arrests, including one of an Orleans man accused of punching a police horse.

Christopher McEnaney, 18, was arrested and charged with assault on a police horse and resisting arrest after he punched a horse from the Plymouth County Sheriff’s Office, one of the mounted patrol horses ridden during town’s raucous July 4 festivities, Provincetown police Sgt. Carrie Lopes said.

McEnaney is accused of punching the horse, Fred, in the animal’s flank at about 10:20 p.m. while the mounted patrol officers were in the area of Ryder Street and Commercial Street, Lopes said.

If Mr. McEnaney were a bit older, maybe he would've heeded the advice from Half-Baked that harming a police horse is considered "Assault on a Police Officer" and not just a hilarious prank to impress fellow members of the Yacht Club.

Happy Father's Day From ปอยฝ้าย

Happy Father's day to dad's everywhere from Bpooi Fhai with Thailand's #1 drinking song (uh, I think that's what this tune is about). The Kaan solo at 2:39 really puts it over the top!

Leskonomics in the Age of Obama

You knew someone was going to make this video sooner or later. It's so accurate.

Real Estate Agent Throws Raging Party At Home Being Sold

(photo credit: From the TSO estate in DC)

This is one way to promote publicity for your real estate agency that doesn't involve chintzy bench ads. From the Daily Mail:

After a heavy drinking session, Joseph Young, 23, collected the keys to the £650,000 house from his office so he and two friends could continue to party.

Once inside, the trainee estate agent and friend Bradley Conway, 23, ripped out door frames and smashed chairs, statues and picture frames. They poured Tipp-Ex fluid over duvets and damaged a vintage car in the garage.

Quick! Someone make this chap a British MP to bring some integrity back to their government.

Chinese Laugh at Geithner When He Says Investment in US Debt "Safe"

Well you can't really blame our Chinese slumlords for being a bit sketchy about giving us more money to live beyond our means. From BBC:

Ahead of meetings with President Hu Jintao and Premier Wen Jiabao, he said the US and China must work together to fix the global economic system.

Mr Geithner said the US would move swiftly to get its debt under control.

In a speech at Beijing University at the start of his two-day visit, Mr Geithner reassured his Chinese hosts that they need not worry about the estimated $770bn (£475bn) they have invested in US treasuries, a class of US government debt.

"Chinese financial assets are very safe," he said, drawing laughter from the audience.

Yup, with this and the GM bankruptcy, the economic good news just keeps on coming. On a totally related note, Paul Krugman has an article today about how Reagan caused massive consumer and government debt. Although, he seems totally cool with it when a Democrat runs up massive government debt. Go figure.

Obama Names Bill Gates Head of the DoD

Much to the shock of the entire country, Obama has replaced SECDEF Robert Gates with former CEO of Microsoft Bill Gates. Thanks to JammieWearingFool for breaking the video of the speech of this shocking news.

In case you didn't know, William Gates III is the lovable nerd who survived numerous pantsings in high school to drop out of Harvard and start Microsoft. He became one of the most charitable people on the planet as well as one of the richest. Now he will be supervising all the US Armed Forces, the conduct of two counter-insurgency operations, and a controversial budget battle. Of course, Bill Gates would probably do a better job than Robert Gates' predecessor.

If Liberals Are Spock, I Guess Conservatives Are Kirk

Saw the new Trek last night and it was excellent. Despite what the trailers lead you to believe, it's not just some tawdry action porn and it actually has quite a bit of good dialogue. My only complaint is that one of my favorite actors, Jon Cho, didn't have a big enough part and my Dad was upset that none of the fight scenes had the classic music from the series.

Anyways, a full-on nerd war has been sparked by lefty pundits who seem to be closeted Trekkies. Because of his mixed-race, application of logic, and general awesomeness, the new meme is that Obama is Spock. Newsweek, Politico, and Huffington Post have all stated this, and Salon has the most detailed support of this argument:

Obama, like Spock, rewards close listening. His cool logic is a real departure from what we've grown used to. Often presidential speechmaking is an emotive art, where oratory trumps reason. What was being said was often confused with how it was being said. We could watch Ronald Reagan with the sound off, and get a pretty good sense of how we were supposed to feel. Bill Clinton's richly accented arias lulled us, while reactions to the appearances of George W. Bush -- pro or con -- were driven less by analysis than by a limbic, visceral response.

I suppose by default, this would imply that the fightin', drinkin', emotionally-charged Captain Kirk is a cultural representation of modern conservativesm. What a perfect time to re-run some hilarious motivators!

On Diplomacy in the age of Extremism

On Military Acquisitions

And On Self-Confidence (despite recent electoral setbacks)

WH Military Affairs Directors Sacrifices Himself Over NYC Scare

Welp that didn't take long. One minute your planning the most awesomest photo-op evah of The One's flying chariot and the next thing you know you're out on your ass. Check out the final boot-lick the White House Military Affairs Director gives before he gets escorted out by security. From Political Punch:

A senior administration official tells ABC News that as part of the White House report investigating the April 27 Air Force One flyover of Manhattan, White House Military Office director Louis Caldera has submitted his letter of resignation and President Obama has accepted.

In a letter dated May 8, Caldera writes that "I have concluded that the controversy surrounding the Presidential Airlift Group's aerial photo shoot over New York City has made it impossible for me to effectively lead the White House Military Office. Moreover, it has become a distraction to the important work you are doing as President. After much reflection, I believe it is incumbent on me to tender my resignation and step down as Director of the White House Military Office."

Don't expect Obama to take any responsibility for this blunder. Senior Obama officials have a way of chucking their staff under the proverbial bus when it suits them politically.

Congressman Wants To Ban Boner Ads Before 10pm

With the Stimulapalooza getting congressmen all the pork they needed for the fiscal year, it must be a slow season on Capitol Hill. Because, the tedious task of legislation has become fixated on the wang. From CNN:

Last month, Democratic Rep. Jim Moran introduced the "Families for ED Advertising Decency Act," which prevents erectile dysfunction and male enhancement ads from appearing on radio and television between the hours of 6 a.m. and 10 p.m.

"This [the advertisements] is an intrusion into our daily lives that I believe has become inappropriate." Moran said in an interview with CNN. "There is a saturation of the television airwaves with these E.D. ads, and they have gotten more pervasive, more blunt, and less subtle."

Text of the bill is here. No one likes to hear any direct reference to old people fuckin', but that's why the good Lord invented the remote control to mute these commercials requiring a thorough eye-washing upon viewing.

Of course the congressman's name is "Moran", which shows that politics is one ongoing joke designed to ruin America and all we can do is blog about it.

Swine Flu Propaganda with 70s Porn Music and Joe Biden

Here's a funny find by Jason at Sith By Sithwest, who I believe works in the health care biz, and is no doubt getting no less than 50 relatives calling him a day asking if they have the swine flu because they have a headache.



Notice that the Emmanuelle-style porn music kicks on at ~0:35 and talks about people "giving it" to everyone else. Perhaps they filmed this as an anti-STD ad first and didn't bother to edit? Also notice that the only "ethnics" in the ad are speaking jive and playing basketball. You probably couldn't get away with that nowadays. But, if you're the Vice President you can work everyone into a scare about having to wear a clean suit and live in a bubble. Must have been the GOP's fault. This is what our culture has degraded to in 2009: no funny ads, just Biden being his usual gaffe-tastic self.

Why Do New Yorkers Hate America?

This may be the low-hanging blog-fruit of the day, but with the exception of putting a bunch of barrels on the subway marked "Swine Flu", can you think of anything that would spook New Yorkers more than low flying planes? The White House is suffering some serious embarrassment today after a botched "Highway to the Danger Zone" photo-op involving one of the Air Force Ones in lower Manhattan. From WSJ:

On Monday morning, one of the 747s used to ferry around the president of the U.S. was dispatched to the Statue of Liberty, escorted by fighter jets. Assignment: Get some fresh glamour shots of the plane.

The Air Force said the flight needed to remain confidential. So while New York police knew about it, as did at least one person in the mayor's office, regular New Yorkers remained in the dark.

As a result, to onlookers Monday all across downtown Manhattan -- where the World Trade Center once stood -- the photo shoot looked like a terrorist attack. People watched in horror as a massive aircraft, trailed closely by F-16 fighters, banked and roared low over the city, in a frightening echo of the events of Sept. 11, 2001.

Fearing the worst, thousands of people streamed out of the skyscrapers and into the streets. Some buildings ordered evacuations.

The notification process seemed to have been completely lost in the black hole of bureaucracy, and the Mayor didn't even know about it (let alone your average New Yorker). Hot Air has some video footage of the chaos that ensued.

The President was forced to issue a hasty apology, and because of this numbskullery, the planned Obama as Jesus artwork set to go up in Union Square would probably be best delayed.

Mark Penn's Weird Article About an Alternate Universe Where Bloggers Are Filthy Rich!

Livin' the Blog Life: Big Pimpin', Bling Blingin' And Shit

Hillary Campaign knucklehead Mark Penn has an extremely erroneous article today in his MicroTrends WSJ article about how easy it is for bloggers to make 6 figures. The entire premise for the claim that >100K visitors/month equals $75K/year is based on a pretty shoddy looking Technorati survey taken in 2008 (the website that has a vested financial interest in more people blogging and using it's services). The "median" is actually 22K/year for those over 100K hits/month (which is right about at the poverty line), and most bloggers I've met have made very little if they try to monetize their product. McArdle, Gateway Pundit, and Gawker all called bullshit, and Mark Penn had to issue a correction the same day. From WSJ by way of Wonkette:

As far as the $75,000, the Technorati report says that of those bloggers who had 100,000 or more unique visitors, the average income is $75,000. True, it's not the median, but it is the average. We can quibble about how easy it is to make this kind of money -- but the point is, the huge potential is there.

Yeah, the "huge potential" was there for pets.com too. The fact is that blogs are a hobby for most people, and we shouldn't delude ourselves with promises of benjamins growing off sitemeter and trackbacks. So, sneaking in a post that's been running around your head while your boss' back is turned at your crappy "real job" is still the way to go. It's probably for the best that blogs (at least the political ones) remain an unprofessional rabble, as it gives it that "townhall" feel where you can get pissed off at Washington instead of having to deal with your own personal life.

For the people that think that they got what it takes to make money bloggin', check out Tough Girl 101 who helps put her way through college . Or you can go jump the shark and start posting nastiness about all your old friends like Charles Johnson. That always boosts the traffic!

Confession of Wingnuttery

I admit that the whole Tea Party concept isn't exactly as cool as meeting Judas Priest at a bar or something. Mostly because the inevitable tea-bag joke gets old after like two seconds, there's no leadership for these things, and Americans who are actually productive members of society are notoriously horrible at mass demonstrations (in general). But, I gotta admit, the more wild the accusations from Obama-sycophants, the more enjoyable it all becomes. Bob Cesca saying that the tea parties are terrorist breeding grounds, mouth-foamer John Amato calling the things treasonous since there was discussions of "succession", and left-wing talk radio chatter that the whole idea was white supremacist in nature. However, the biggest whopper actually comes from a memo by the Democrat House Leaders, which suggests that it was actually a secret Nazi rally. From Weekly Standard:

Other House Democratic leaders took a different tack: One senior aide has been circulating a document to the media that debunks the effort as one driven by corporate lobbyists and attended by neo-Nazis...

In addition, the tea parties are “not really all about average citizens,” the document continues, saying neo-Nazis, militias, secessionists and racists are attending them. The tea parties are also not peaceful, since reporters in Cincinnati had to seek “police protection” during one of the events, it states.

I suppose it parlays nicely into that recent DHS report about holding different political views makes one a crazy.

Anyways, there's a certain psychology developed in the Navy where pushing people's buttons all the times to view their enraged reaction is some excellent entertainment. It's similar the political climate we find ourselves in right now. You tell someone you like Glenn Beck or go stand around in the rain for an hour at a Tea Party protest...and they blow a fucking gasket. It's not something foolish like trolling a blog, but rather this whole bloods-vs-crips partisanship that has developed for a variety of reasons. To be honest with you, I'm loving the comedy! Well, until I get thrown in jail for maintaining this dumb blog. That would be kind of shitty.

Inspirational Iraq Video Games

Alex Horton brings the funny with photoshopped Iraq-themed games. Who needs to spend $50 on a new PS3 game (or actually serving in the military) to get the Iraq experience when you have these.

Why YouTube was Invented (Kitsch 90s TV Does Metal)

Naw, YouTube's purpose is not to watch Sean Hannity getting chased by Paultards for the 70th time (although that shit is still funny). Here's why (thanks to my buddies in Chasn, SC):

Metal Head A.C. Slater. And don't forget AC Slayer for an extra.

The Awesome: North Korean Satellite To Provide 24/7 Edu-Tainment on Dear Leader!

The Pentagon says North Korea's little bottle rocket plunked in the drink somewhere in the Pacific Ocean, but don't believe their IMPERIALI$T LIES! Danger Room dug up a statement that is much closer to the truth from the ever-reliable Korean Central News Agency:

"The satellite is transmitting the melodies of the immortal revolutionary paeans 'Song of Gen. Kim Il Sung' and 'Song of Gen. Kim Jong Il' as well as measurement data back to Earth," KCNA said, referring to North Korea's founder and his successor.

Some friends and I were watching Garth Marenghi recently, and I hope Kim Jong Il does a Karaoke version of One Track Lover:

It'd definitely be an improvement over most of what passes for television these days.